Psychic Friction

Hi Cringers,

Recently, I came across the concept “psychic friction,” a state when one’s external reality clashes with one’s inner desires, values, and identity.

For instance, maybe you have the soul of an artist, but spend your 9-5 as an accountant. Or maybe you love cows, but also cheeseburgers…

Most of us face psychic friction regularly, a tension between what's true and what's easy, what we want and what we need, or what we value and how we act. Recognizing this tension is the first step to addressing it.

These internal conflicts have a ripple effect on our relationships, workplaces, and society.

What happens in politics and business is often a projection of our individual issues, desires, and flaws.

If greed and hate are boiling over on the outside, that indicates that it’s probably boiling over on the inside in a lot of people as well.

Most of us would benefit from spending time working on ourselves.

The problem is that when conversations about inner work and mindfulness come up in public conversation, the response tends to be, “That’s privileged!” “Who has time for that?!” “Some of us have to work…”

Working on yourself is often seen as a luxury, something that requires time and resources no one seems to have.

The benefit of “personal branding” is that it’s a way to encourage people to view inner work as an aspect of work, to help people see that the more you know yourself, the clearer you’ll be and the more focused you’ll be in your life and business.

All “personal branding” is is knowing who you are, what you value, how you can help, and how you can project an image that represents this all in a coherent way.

The psychic friction happens when that image that you’re projecting starts to clash with your internal world. And when that happens you start to become unknown to others and yourself.

In a lot of ways this concept of psychic friction ties into the concept of masking.

Think of Jim Carrey in The Mask, a timid bank clerk who discovers a literal mask that transforms him into a zany confidence-man, causing him to struggle between what he is and what he could be.

All of us face this tension in one way or another. How much do we share? How much do we show our true nature?

Living with a mask for too long can cause you to lose yourself and lose sight of your values leading to burnout and all sorts of other issues.

That’s why knowing yourself and projecting a true image of yourself isn’t just a luxury, but an essential part of creating stability for ourselves and our society.

So, if you’re experiencing a moment of psychic friction ask yourself:

• Am I playing this role because it reflects who I am? Or am I playing it because it reflects what’s easy, safe, or expected?
• Am I sanding down my edges to the point of my own disappearance?
• Does what I say reflect what I do and how I think?
• Am I forcing a behavior or does this feel true to how I naturally operate and communicate?

Until next time,

P.S.

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